Sleepless Nights

a Sleepless girl looks at night sky

Sleepless…sleepless again,
Another long night,
It’s me back to the same old tragedy of
my bloodless fight,
Eyes wouldn’t close,
It’s late and cigarettes are being burned in rows,

Happiness is not cheap anymore,
It’s pricey and doesn’t stay for long,
The problem is, I can see my downfall from a mile
and still heading that way,
Who says I have free will?
All I do is what others say,

Love? Friendship? Work?
Seem just meaningless words,
Maybe they are just some silly reasons to pass another day,
Then this long night, I need some more words
or this restlessness won’t go away,

I can only hope that I sleep before these cigarettes perish,
Or maybe it’s just my another unfathomable wish,
Why I am like this?
Why I can’t close my eyes and see what everybody sees?
Meddled with thoughts of wrongs and rights,
It’s another of my sleepless nights…
– N2S
10092015

The Only Dream I Had

empty and wet road with forests around the sides

Sitting at the roadside with friends,
I looked at the gaudy block and buildings,
I wished I could own one of these someday,
I wondered how it would feel looking down this way,

Walking on the streets, I saw a shiny car in black,
A man in a suit sitting in the back,
He was calm, classy perhaps capable of everything,
I wish I could be him someday and would buy expensive things,

I was excited, what she would say,
She was the only one with whom I want to stay,
She did come but with someone,
Tall, mean, a ‘jerk’, that someday she would call him,
It was raining; she was standing under the expensive umbrella,
She said, “You deserve someone better as you are a good fella”,
“Yeah, I know that I am not crying, it just rain-water”,
She left in the car, “Yes she is no better”,
The road was deserted and I was lonely,
The rain kept pouring down on me,

Once you are wet, you don’t care how much you are drained,
You stop feeling anything after long periods of pain,
Watching her go I waited for her to look back,
But, she took away the only dream I had,

After several seasons, I was reading myself in the news,
I smiled on thousand lies not a single truth,
Standing on the top of my apartment at the Marine Drive,
My glance passed from the sea to a group of five,
They were laughing, joking and were happy,
I wished I could be that chirpy,

My fancy car stopped at the traffic light,
I saw a young man looking at me, dressed in blue and white,
He appeared as a warrior shining in his armor,
I wished I could be like him, carefree, rebellious, and a lot younger,
Now I own what others could only dream,
But my dream where is she?
Even after having everything why I am so empty?

It was raining in the dark night,
the road was empty with no other vehicle on the sight,
Around the corner, a woman was standing with arms crossed her chest,
Water dripping from her long hair drenching the rest,
“Lady, can I offer you a lift?’
“No thank you, I am waiting for my kid”,
Perhaps I was still the same old sentimental fella,
I came out of my car, handed over my expensive umbrella,
“Lady at least you can have this”,
She hesitated at first but anyways took it,
Then I saw her face which was glowing in the dark,
She was the same girl who once had my heart,
“Do you remember me?” She asked,
I didn’t reply and walked towards my car,

The car started and I didn’t look back,
I no more remember the only dream I had…

-N2S